Zelda character thoughs
by Maxtendo
Summary: What do these Zelda guys think about when they are in certain situations? It's maybe not what you think...
1. Default Chapter

I don't own The Legend Of Zelda, it's characters and storyline or anything else to that matter.  
  
What is Gannondorf thinking?  
  
Gannon is sitting comfortably on a couch in his gigantic dark castle.  
  
Gannon: I'm so bored (Sigh).  
  
Gannon turns around, gets up and faces the window.  
  
Gannon: I wonder what that Link brat is doing right now. Probably off slaying some of my slaves. ARRGG!! I'm a man of action!!! I need to kill!!!  
  
Random slave: Gannon! Link has entered our castle!  
  
Gannon: YES!!!  
  
Slave: But isn't he your enemy?  
  
Gannon: Errr. yes, I only hum. wanted to kill him myself he he he!  
  
Slave: Right.  
  
Link first meets Zelda:  
  
Zelda: You! How did you get into the castle!?  
  
Link: You wouldn't want to know.  
  
Zelda twitches her nose and then looks at Link.  
  
Zelda: What's that smell?  
  
Link: You wouldn't want to know.  
  
Zelda: You didn't come through the.  
  
Link: Don't! I don't want to remember what I have seen there!  
  
Zelda: What is your name?  
  
Link: .  
  
Zelda clear her throat: What is you name?  
  
Link: Do you really need to know?  
  
Zelda: yes.  
  
Link: My name is Link.  
  
Zelda starts laughing.  
  
Zelda: What a weird name!  
  
Link: I feared you would say that.  
  
Zelda: Anyways, I had a weird dream, will you listen to me?  
  
Link: I've got no time for dreams, I've got to save the world!  
  
Zelda: You have to listen to it!  
  
Link: Alright Alright! Was I in it?  
  
Zelda: yes.  
  
Link: Wait a minute, that wasn't an erotic dream, was it?  
  
Zelda looks shocked.  
  
Zelda: NO WAY!!!  
  
Link: (Damn!)  
  
Link and Gannon battle, Zelda's thoughts:  
  
Zelda: I wonder if I'll have to marry the winner?  
  
Zelda: I hope Link wins, I don't want to be stuck with an overgrown pig. Pigs are perverts. and Link looks kind of handsome too. NO! what would my father think if he saw me think such perverted stuff!  
  
Zelda looks at Link and his tunic waves with every of his moves.  
  
Zelda: Nice butt. Arrrg!!! I'm a princess, not just any kind of street girl!!! I can't be pervert!  
  
Link and Malon thoughs:  
  
Malon: Hey! It's the fairy boy again! Wonder if he can wield a woman as well as he wields his sword.  
  
Link (Meanwhile): Nice, if Zelda won't go out with me, I can as well ask her out.  
  
Link in the Wind Waker:  
  
Link: I wonder if I could use the Wind Waker on Zelda's dress so I can see under.  
  
Zelda: Link? What were you talking about just then?  
  
Link: About Gannon's next move.  
  
Zelda: Oh. 


	2. Chapter 2

Saria and the Ocarina Of Time:  
  
Link shows his new ocarina to Saria and leaves.  
  
Saria thinking: How can he do this to me!? He just dumped my ocarina for that girl's! I told him to keep it so he could remember me!!! Does he want to forget about me!? He hates me!!!  
  
She starts crying.  
  
Link is thinking about the girls:  
  
Link thinking: Hmmm. I wonder which girl I should pick.I've got four girls after me, I'd rather take advantage of such a good. liberty of choice? That's the word! Now who should I pick? Saria has got that smart girl style, but her green hairs make her look freaky and she looks like she's ten years old. Princess Ruto? errr.. She's a fish girl, she smells bad and I don't really want to live underwater for the rest of my life. Malon is sure sexy! . but she hates me since I stole her horse and used him in races to win money. Zelda? Sure, she looks good, but she's too sensitive. Yesterday, she asked me to save her but I told her I has to to go get a haircut. She got mad at me. Well now I'm down to no one. Well I could go to Guerudo Valley and ask some girls out, but I was banished for using the girl's toilets. THEY DON'T HAVE TOILETS SUITED FOR MEN!!! THEY ARE ALL GIRLS!!! Now what to do, what to do? ARGGG!!! This is too confusing!!!  
  
Link thinking about the girls 2:  
  
Link thinking: Why can't the hero ever get the girl!? I mean we work ourselves to the bone trying to save these beautiful princess and what do we get from doing it? Nothing! I get to save the world, that's one thing, but how does Mario do it? Not only he saves the princess, but the world won't get destroyed if he fails. well he got a cake once and one or two occasional kisses. What do I get from Zelda anyway? She never even gave me a hug! Only a "thank you"! That's it! I'm telling my ancestors to never save damsels in distress!  
  
Link seeing Tingle for the first time:  
  
Tingle: Kooli pha!!!  
  
Link: AHHH!!! Are you trying to kill me!?  
  
Tingle I drawn a map, will you buy it?  
  
Link looks at the map  
  
Link: (Thinking: What!? It looks like if it was drawn by a 4 years old! Well It's best to stay polite.) It looks MARvelous!  
  
Tingle: Do you want it?  
  
Link: (Say no! Say no!!) Sure. errr. I mean---  
  
Tingle: Kooloo Limp-Pah!!  
  
Link: (He's really demented) What are you doing attached to a balloon?  
  
Tingle: This is no balloon boy! These are my fairy wings!!!  
  
Link: (Fairy!? That guy couldn't be a fairy in a million years! Now now, someone's using explicit substances.) I would LOVE to stay, but I have to go (Help! I can't take it anymore! I need to get away from this idiot!)  
  
Tingle: Kooloo Limp-pah!!!  
  
Link leaves  
  
Link (Right.)  
  
Link breaks pots:  
  
Link is in front of Malon and Talon's ranch and while he comes in, he sees pots  
  
Link thinking: .I have to resist. temptation. Gahhh!!! I can't!!!  
  
Link breaks the pots and makes quite a lot of noise. it awoke Malon, but Talon sleeps too hard to be awakened. Malon opens her window.  
  
Malon: Who is it!?  
  
Link hides in the shadow of the other barn and stays silent.  
  
Link thinking: I can't let her see me! I don't want to be finned for destruction of proprety!  
  
Malon thinking: I wonder if I could throw that pitchfork right.  
  
Imagine the end.  
  
What is Gannondorf thinking?  
  
Gannon thinking: I hate being a villain! How come I always lose!!! I don't understand the logic of this! I have far more power, experience and university diplomas than every generations of Link put together! I even have the Triforce of power for god's sake! POWER!!! . And he still kicks my sorry ass. I just hope he won't go after me with the Legendary Four Swords, or I'll be in for the whooping of my life!!! I better think of a career change. Maybe I could start working at the Hyrule Ranch or exile myself to Termina. No! He's already been there and he can find me again! That's it! I am taking a vacation! I just hope he won't keep tormenting me there too. 


	3. Thanks to the readers

Thanks for the readers.  
  
Well I'd like to thank the readers for reading my first Zelda fanfic (And first humour story) and by the way, can anyone tell me hoe to review in a review? I know it sounds stupid, but I don't know how to review. Well thanks again guys. 


End file.
